December 18th is almost here. It's National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day! Want to take home top honors this year? Better start planning now. The competition can be fierce. And super ugly.

According to the official web site, the holiday is all about "proudly sporting your favorite ugly Christmas sweater for the entire day...regardless of circumstances. Wear it to school, to work, to a funeral, to your sister's wedding..."

That means you have to go all in if you're going to participate. You have to wear that ugly Thing wherever you go. No matter what happens.

So dig out those gaudy garments. Or, better yet, grab someThing new. Then head out for the office party, the local pub or the neighborhood coffee shop to show off in all your garish glory. I'm hoping to win a cash prize. So I can let it ride on a brand new, even uglier sweater for next year.

See you next week,
Bobby

Earlier this year, I told you about a Roscoe, a dog who ate an entire wire-frame diorama leaving his poor little human without a homework assignment to turn in. Turns out her Roscoe and my Bosco aren't alone in the ranks of dogs devouring weird Things — and racking up hefty vet bills in the process.

Five years ago, Nationwide Insurance created the "Hambone Award", which is given to the animal who presents the most unusual pet insurance claim. (They only give the awards to pets who fully recover.) Think of it as the Darwin Awards for animals.

Meet Curtis (left), the newest winner of this dubious prize. The 5-year-old Boxer ate an entire BBQ skewer. Yes, including the skewer. His people rushed the poor Curtis to the the hospital, but no skewer was found. A year later, Curtis wasn't feeling so hot again, so back to the vet he went. Surgeons finally found the skewer, which had been encapsulated by the poor pet's body in a "baseball sized mass". They removed it and Curtis is back to his old self.

The Hambone Award is named for its first recipient: a dog who got stuck in a refrigerator and ate an entire Thanksgiving ham while waiting to be rescued.


Watch what they eat. See you next week,
Bobby

I saw Jurassic World the other night. Okay, I saw it for the third time. I'd still have to see it at least three more times to catch up to my original Jurassic Park obsession. What can I say? I like dinosaurs. Even the ones that are genetically modified, incredibly scary and a little bit crazy.

But this time when I saw the latest film in the Jurassic franchise, it seemed a little easier to imagine what might really have happened if humans had lived with dinosaurs. Would we have survived it? Been as clever as our actor counterparts in the movie? Maybe. Humans did, after all, learn to work as a team to bring down the mighty Woolly Mammoth. I'd like to think we'd have figured out how to make dino-food out of the big reptiles.

But what if today we all of a sudden we woke up surrounded by escaped prehistoric creatures? We're not used to being hunted — and eaten — by wild creatures anymore. (Office politics doesn't count.)

It's a fun Thing to ponder. But one I'm glad we'll (probably) never know the answer to.

See you at the movies,
Bobby

I'm as bad as my nieces and nephews when it comes to waiting for Christmas. Once Halloween is over, I start getting impatient for Santa's arrival. So, I went down to the warehouse to find some funny Christmas Things to help me get a jump-start on the holiday season.

I found some great Bad Santas, which are some of my favorite Christmas Things. Mostly because of the movie, Bad Santa, which is my hands-down holiday favorite. I watch it every year. Kinda like how most people watch It's A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story. It's hysterically funny, totally irreverent, over-the-top and just plain entertaining. Just like our Bad Santas here at Things.

So, while I'm waiting for Christmas, I'll have to watch the movie and hang out with some of our Bad Santas until the real Thing drops down the chimney.

See you next week,
Bobby