It's funny enough that the topic of jokes is a subject of serious academic study. That the academics can't agree on the "first joke ever" or even when humans developed humor is downright hilarious. There's nothing quite as funny as watching a couple of educated fools argue over such a silly Thing.

The University of Wolverhampton says the first joke was a fart joke (awesome!) dating back to the ancient Sumerians. It's told in the form of a proverb and it's thought to date back to 1,900 BC or earlier. It goes like this: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

Personally, I like the idea that the first joke was a fart joke, but I have to admit, that one doesn't fall so humorously on modern ears.

Some believe that human joking went a lot further back, insisting that even cave men told jokes. This conclusion is based on a study of the Baka tribe, a primitive hunter-gatherer society, which today remains much like their cave-dwelling ancestors.  The study revealed that the Baka are "funny, sarcastic, kind, sad, up for a bit of gossip" and not afraid of "taking the piss out of people." (Mocking or ridiculing someone.)

Back then, people made fun of farts, sex, each other and nearby villages. The poor made fun of the rich and the rich made fun of the poor. Political and romantic rivals made fun of each other to better their odds in contest. That's the most interesting Thing about the "scientific inquiry" into humor: it reveals our ancient ancestors laughed at the same Things we laugh at today.

See you next week,
Bobby

The Syfy channel is doing it again! For the eighth year in a row, they'll serve up 31 Days of Halloween starting on Oct. 1st!

I Am Legend, Orphan, and Insidious: Chapter 2 make their premieres on Syfy this year, which is totally cool. But we'll also get the staples we look forward to including Texas Chainsaw Massacre (a classic), Underworld (visually stunning), The Fog and Cabin In The Woods (totally creepy), The Omen remake (better than the original), and The Last Exorcism (classic sequel). Of course, there are tons more — I can't list them all, but I can watch them!

And there's more than horror: there's fake ghost hunting! On Wednesday, October 28 you can see special episodes of "Ghost Hunters" and "Paranormal Witness" back-to-back. For the full schedule, visit Syfy's web site.

Don't forget to look under the bed and check the closet before bed. See you next week,
Bobby

When temperatures start to dip, it's time to start thinking about indoor activities again. And though reading is really indoor-outdoor, Fall is a great time to pick up a few new books for quiet nights in front of a fire. Here are my top three picks for the coming season (in descending order):

#3 - Stuff You Missed in History Class: From the brilliant minds of the folks at HowStuffWorks, this book based on the popular podcast of the same name clues you in on all the Things you wanted to know about history, but didn't even know to ask. Find out how medieval torture devices really worked and if the CIA really tested LSD on unsuspecting Americans, among other hidden, shocking, fun, and disturbing Things.

#2 - How UFOs Conquered the World: Not your ordinary conspiracy theory book, this is truly the history of a modern myth. The author looks at all Things unidentified and flying through the lens of his own experience and fascination from childhood through adulthood. Author David Clarke has close encounters with abductees, hoaxers and conspiracy theorists. He meets people who think aliens are angels or demons. And finds out what the British government’s ‘UFO desk’ investigations really uncovered.

#1 - Can Holding In a Fart Kill You?:  For obvious reasons, this is my favorite Thing for fall. First, it has "fart" in the title. Second, it's full of crazy, wacky, silly, unbelievable facts about almost EveryThing. Like why dogs walk in circles before they lie down. And where the phrase "son of a gun" came from. From Bigfoot to telekinesis to the Bermuda Triangle and Atlantis, this book takes on the best oddball topics. But it also answers scientific questions like how general anesthesia works and how popcorn pops. It's great for a quick peek or a long evening's read.

Enjoy the cooler weather (if you have it) and I'll see you next week,
Bobby

Last February, I told you about the adventures of a certain Reddit user who calls himself Captain Mercedes. The good captain cataloged (according to the Bristol stool scale) every bowel movement he had in 2104. He then posted the data for other Reddit users to analyze.

And now, the results are in! A data-obsessed Reddit user called Plotting Man took on the challenge of analyzing the captain’s data dump and published the results for all to see.

Here’s what Plotting Man found:

• A week of poop: The captain poops surprising little on Mondays and Tuesdays. 
• Log dropping time: He prefers to do his doo drops between 10-11AM, but a certain percentage seem to come on in the wee hours. 
• Toilet punishments per day: Usually the captain poops just 0-1 times, but on one fine day he punished the porcelain throne 5 times! (I wonder what he ate the day before?) 
• Distance from optimal corndog condition: Before I encountered Captain Mercedes, I had no idea this was a Thing. On the Bristol chart, 1 is "like nuts" (ouch!) and 7 is "entirely liquid" (eww!). What you want is a 4: "like a sausage or snake (or corndog), smooth and soft".  Did the captain's movements make the grade? Mostly, but it seems he has a healthier pooping life in the spring and summer. 

You can see the entire set of results here, along with Plotting Man’s commentary, colorful graphs and punny comments from the wide world of the web. I don't know if all of this actually helped the poor captain better understand his secretions, but I think it's one of the funniest crappy Things on the Internet this year.

Keep your eye on the bowl. See you next week,
Bobby