How drunk do they get in Ireland? Apparently some people get so drunk they can't even recognize their own reflections! Well, at least one person did.

A  man in Derry caused about $800 worth of damage when he smashed a window at a city center bar. How did he do it? He head-butted his own reflection.

Of course he got arrested, but he told the court he had no memory of the event.

To make Things even weirder, the prosecutor said when the man turned around, he was "spooked by his own reflection in the door."

The man pleaded guilty and was ordered to pay for the damages and given a two-year "conditional discharge."

Lucky for him. According to Irish law, he could have been charged with attempted assault. On himself.

Definitely not his happiest happy hour.

Drink responsibly and stay out of trouble. I'll see you next week,
Bobby

I finally saw Avengers: Age of Ultron. I don’t know why I waited so long. The critics said it was “eye-popping” and “exuberant” and that the superhero team found a “worthy foe” in Ultron, the product of Tony Stark’s revived peacekeeping program gone horribly awry.

All true.

It’s very colorful, fast-paced and exciting to watch. While the story is a bit on the heavy side, it hangs together better than lots of superhero-tales-gone-big-screen. And it’s got lots of wry humor and super banter to help hold it up.

In short, it’s a heart-stopping thrill ride in the finest comic book fashion.

3 reasons to see Age of Ultron:

• Action. Action. Action. From the Hulkbusting “Veronica” to Iron Man’s deadly new suit, you’re on the edge of your seat in almost every scene.
• New characters: there’s a pair of twins (Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch), a new villain (Ultron) and a new superhero robot (Vision - who was once Tony Stark’s bungling butler).
• The set-up. Like all good movies, this one leaves you wanting more. I couldn’t believe it was over so fast. I just sat there until the end of the credits. And what rolled by? “The Avengers Will Return.” Totally worth staying for

I should stop before I spoil Things for you. Because you should go see the film. The only Thing you’ll regret is that it has to end.

See you at the movies,
Bobby

We have always had the coolest Things here at Things. And I don’t believe I’ve ever been able to pick just one cool Thing to love at any given time. Until now.

When the 3Doodler came along, I thought, “Awesome! A 3-D printing pen!” But I had no idea what this Thing could really do. In the first video I saw, someone made a mockingjay — the bird made famous by The Hunger Games. Pretty cool. Check it out:

Then I saw some people making some really cool Things like a Loch Ness Monster and a Tardis. That’s when I started to think: this Thing might be the awesomest Thing I’ve ever seen! But I hadn’t seen anyThing yet:

Yes. That’s a rocket. Pete Dilworth — the inventor and founder of 3Doodler — made a rocket with the Thing! Pretty impressive, right? But then he installed 4 model rocket engines and launched it! And it worked!

Coolest. Thing. Ever.

I’m off to see what kind of Things I can draw in 3-D.

See you next week,
Bobby

AMC’s much anticipated “Fear the Walking Dead,” is supposed to premier sometime in August (no…no firm date yet.) But insiders are revealing lots of juicy tidbits about “The Walking Dead” spinoff.

Creator Robert Kirkman says the story will take place while Rick Grimes is in a coma. And he confirms there won’t be an origin story.

Kirkman said, “As far as digging down to actually find the smoking gun and realizing what the cause is…it’s really unimportant to the overall story.”

Hmm. Maybe it’s unimportant to him, but comic book geeks like me LOVE origin stories. Oh well…onward to all the Things (we know so far) that will be different in the spinoff:

1. The walkers on FTWD will be a bit fresher and more “human” than the hideously decayed zombies in the original series.
2. FTWD will be shot with digital cameras while TWD is shot with 16mm film.
3. FTWD will take place in a big city — Los Angeles — while TWD takes place in a suburb of Atlanta.
4. There will be lots more chaos and violence in FTWD.
5. FTWD centers on families uniting to survive while TWD is a bunch of mostly random strangers banding together.

“Fear the Walking Dead” is slated to run for at least five or six seasons and “The Walking Dead” will run for a few more seasons, too. (No one is saying how many.) The comic book, as always, will continue.

Watch for Zombies. I’ll see you next week,
Bobby

How would you like to have bionic eyes? I know I would. Every year I lose a little more vision. I finally had to give in and get some reading glasses when my sister (who thinks she’s a comedian but definitely is not!) pointed out my arms weren’t long enough for reading anymore.

Meet the Ocumetics Bionic Lens, which the company says has “the potential to revolutionize human eyesight.” With just a “small surgery”, the Bionic Lens replaces your natural one.

According to Dr. Garrett Web, the creator of the Bionic lens, it does more than repair damaged vision, it improves and enhances vision. The average person can see the hands of a clock at about ten feet away. Dr. Web claims his lenses will allow people to see the same clock from over 30 feet away!

They still have a couple of years of tests and trials, but the Bionic Lens could completely eliminate the need for many eye surgeries, including laser and cataract procedures. And it could be the end of glasses as we know them.

Believe me, I’ll be watching for these Things to come out. If I can find my glasses.

See you next week,
Bobby

Geek hero Simon Pegg got himself in some trouble this week. After blasting geek culture for playing a role in the “dumbing down” of society and then having to explain himself (again) when the Internet rose up against him (again), he took on the topic of trying to make Star Trek Beyond “less Trek-y”. And that didn’t really make Things better for poor Pegg.

It seems the first Star Trek Beyond script, ran a bit too close to the source for Paramount. So Pegg is co-writing a new version and trying to make the movie more accessible — for geeks and non-geeks alike. In an interview with Radio Times Magazine, Pegg said, “People don’t see [Star Trek] being a fun, brightly colored, Saturday night entertainment like the Avengers.” So he wants to “make a western or a thriller or a heist movie, then populate that with Star Trek characters so it’s more inclusive…”

Wait, what?

Trek expert Devin Faraci writes, “Simon Pegg says stuff that could be freaking people out for no reason.” Pegg has a (seemingly) masochistic habit of doing that pretty much all the time, but if he’s on target about what the studio wants from the next Star Trek script, people are freaking themselves out for no reason.

As Faraci points out, “They just want to make it like the original Star Trek TV show. A show that was pitched as Wagon Train To The Stars, a space western. A show that had episodes where Kirk and Spock found themselves on a planet ruled by 1930s mafioso, a show where the spirit of Jack the Ripper took over Scotty and a show where one of the greatest episodes is a submarine battle story.”

Now, I’m a big fan of Simon Pegg despite some of his online antics. But he got it wrong (again) when he said Paramount is trying to make the next movie “less Trek-y.” Any true Trekkie can plainly see that they’re trying to make the next movie more Trek-y than the last.

Live long and prosper. See you next week,
Bobby

Want to have some cooling and super cool pool parties this summer? I have just the Things for you! We’ve been getting summer stuff for months and I’ve been dying to try out all our new Things. And it finally got warm enough to take some of these Cool Pool Things out for a test swim!

First, is it a shark or a squirt gun? Answer: both! This pool “toy” lives up to its fierce reputation. With lifelike “skin” and awesome detailing, you’re almost afraid to go in the water — even when you know it’s a fake! But once you work up the courage to get in, submerge the great white hunter in the pool, then squeeze his gills to turn him into a predatory squirt gun!

Aqua Rockets are a close second to the shark gun. These babies can shoot rockets up to 20 feet in the air using the water in your pool! And you don’t need batteries or fancy controls. You just put the Thing in the pool, pull the launcher and the water does the rest.

Finally, my favorite Thing for the pool this summer: the red-eyed floating gator decoy. It’s sort of made for ponds — you know, to scare noisy ducks or geese away from your backyard. But to use it only for a decoy would be to ignore the true genius of the Thing: it scares the crap out of people! Here’s a tip: it’s really effective at night, especially for adult gatherings by the pool.

Have fun this summer. See you next week,
Bobby