Back in the day - and I do mean back in the day - back when...
       …people still sent cash in the mail…
       ...we had lots of Things that cost a dime…
       ...I was at the perfect height to suffer the full wind of adult farts right in my face…
…waaaaaaaay back then, I started working here.

My official job was peeling dimes off of the order forms and tossing them into a cash box. My unofficial job was (is) to catch my coworkers off guard (newbies beware!) with pranks and practical jokes. My favorite? A strategically concealed Whoopee Cushion. It’s still one of my best go-to moves. Thing is, my beloved Whoopee almost didn’t make it to market.

The story goes like this: some folks at the Jem Rubber Company were experimenting with scraps when they discovered that putting two sheets of rubber together with air between them would make realistic farting sounds. The crew thought their discovery was hilarious and they wanted to share it with the world. (Obviously, they were My Kind of People.)

Anyway, back then the S.S. Adams company was a Big Dog in the novelty business. Jem took the invention to the owner Samuel Adams (not to be confused with the beer guy - this Sam was a practical joke inventor). Adams turned up his nose at the Whoopee. He said it was “too vulgar” and would never sell.

But Jem didn't give up on their farting find. When they finally got the Whoopee out to the people, it was so popular they couldn't keep the Things on the shelves. A year after rejecting Jem’s ‘vulgar’ invention, S.S. Adams released their own version, the Razzberry Cushion, which no one remembers now. (A lesson for all of us: never underestimate the power of the fart!)

People don't send cash in the mail anymore (smart!), Things cost a little more than a dime, and these days I'm tall enough to be the one blowing wind instead of inhaling it, but Things that fart, sound like farts, and smell like farts are still some of our bestsellers. And now there's more to offer than the humble Whoopee - we have electronic fart machines (technology improves our lives in so many ways, don't you think?), farting stuffed toys, fart extinguishers, you name it. But even with all those Things at my fingertips, my first love will always be the one I almost never met: the Whoopee.

See you next week,
Bobby