I used to ask my parents to hire a clown for every one of my birthday parties. And if the clown could do magic? Well, that was a double-down win in my book. But now when I see a clown, I'm literally - and I do mean literally - paralyzed in terror. Thank you very much, Stephen King.

I'm not only scared of Halloween clowns or the creepy clowns that keep popping up everywhere. I'm scared of even funny clowns with friendly faces. Even the silliest clowns with their seltzer squirters, and honky-horns and silly balloon animals strike terror into my heart. I break into a cold sweat. I can't speak. I can't even blink. Worst of all, I can't RUN!

Fear of clowns is called coulrophobia and it's a real Thing. I never had coulrophobia until I read Stephen King's "It". But once I met Pennywise the Clown in the pages of King's brilliantly terrifying novel, I became afflicted with the clown phobia - along with millions of other people. Some people even say Pennywise ruined their childhood!

See, Pennywise can do a ghastly magic trick: he (or It if you prefer) is a shapeshifter. He transforms himself into your deepest fears. It uses your worst phobias against you. If your phobia happens to be fear of clowns, well, more the better for old Pennywise. It wants to scare you because - direct Pennywise quote here - "You all taste so much better when you're afraid."

So you might think that I wouldn't have watched the 1990 mini-series starring Tim Curry as Pennywise, but I did. Did that made Things worse? Yep. Curry was brilliant, ghastly, hideous...in short the scariest clown ever. Now Hollywood is taking on King's novel again with a feature film due out this fall. Watch the extended trailer...if you dare.

Me, I'm going to find a place to hide now. I'll see you next week (unless Pennywise finds me),
Bobby