I don’t mean to alarm
everyone, but yesterday was PANIC DAY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HOW COULD THIS
HAPPEN?!?!?!?!
Go ahead and grab yourself a paper bag if you need one, I’ll
wait.
Take some deep breaths.
Try not to focus on your unpaid bills.
…Or the news.
…Or that big project you’ve been putting off.
…Or how badly unprepared you are to handle a zombie
apocalypse and the inevitable fall of civilization.
WAIT!
I actually have a few Things to help with that last one!
The
TRS
Survival Kit fits in your pocket and has everyThing you need to catch,
hang, clean, and cook all manner of creek critters and keep you from staring
hungrily at your next door neighbor (in
actual
hunger—not the kind of hunger that might have earned you a restraining
order had law and order not just collapsed).
It’s not always convenient to build a fire and boil your
drinking water. This handy
Survival
Water Filter makes it easy to safely drink from virtually any water source—no
pyrotechnics necessary! Besides, even if zombies
are roaming around, spreading their death pox, do you know what ordinary,
healthy animals
do in the water? It ain’t
pretty. Filter your H
20.
One
Thing that can stand between you surviving and becoming worm food is a length
of rope. I kid you
knot. Our
Prepper’s
Guide to Knots gives you step-by-step instructions for 100 of the most
useful tying techniques required to survive any disaster. Including zombies.
Most likely.
For everyThing else, there’s this comprehensive handbook on
How
to Stay Alive in the Woods. Learn what’s safe to eat, how to stay warm,
make shelter, signal for help, and basically keep your brain in your noggin
where it belongs.
Are you breathing easier yet?
I sure am.
As long as I don’t turn on the news.
…Or check my mail.
…Or my calendar.
…Or… WHERE’D I PUT THAT PAPER BAG?!?!
See you next week,
Bobby
