No, Irma is not my pesky ex. Irma is a storm. A BIG storm. Like, a really,
really BIG storm. And it's taking aim at
me! Well, not me
personally, but at Florida, which is where I happen to live. Where I'd like to continue living thank-you-very-much.
I've already written about the
Things you need for everyday emergencies, but a storm like Irma is no everyday Thing. (At least there's
that, right?) You'll need all those emergency supplies, plus a few other Things if you find yourself in the path of this (or any other) Monster Storm.
There are two rules for saving your *ss in a massive hurricane:
1.
Run from the
water.
2.
Hide from the
wind.
Remember those two Things. Chant them like a mantra if you have to. This is probably the
only time when I
fully endorse rule following. So
remember them.
Follow them. Okay? Oh-
KAY. 'Nuff said.
If rule one applies, you'll be busy running. If rule two applies, you'll probably be stuck inside. For a l...o...o...o...o..ong time. You're all stocked up on provisions and vittles and emergency Things, but what to
do during the long days you'll be hunkered down? (The Newsies say "shelter in place". Around here we say "hunker down". It's a Florida Thang.)
My house is the Hunker Bunker for my friends and family so I know a bit about this. I'll let you in on a little secret about hunkering down: it's B.O.R.I.N.G. Even people you love - heart and soul to the end of the earth - can (and will) get on your very last nerve. That's why
games and toys are an essential part of
my Hunker Bunker must-haves. A few of my faves:
If you lose power, a battery operated DVD player with TV and radio will keep you up-to-date on the storm. When you get tired of watching the Red Blob of Doom slowly coming your way, you can watch someThing else on TV. Or you can listen to music. Or pop in a DVD to relieve the tooth-shattering boredom. Every little Thing helps.
All silliness aside, we here at Things give a heartfelt SHOUT-
OUT to our friends up in Houston. While we wait for Irma, we haven't forgotten that they're still recovering from Harvey. And we won't forget the lessons they taught us - about everyThing from being prepared to being a good neighbor.
Stay safe. I'll be back next week,
Bobby
