I know, I know. People have been saying the Zombie Apocalypse is coming for years. And not one Thing has happened. But I know why. It takes a long time to make a zombie army. They move so slow. But don’t be fooled. They move ever forward.
And so must you.
- Get in shape.
It’s true you have to be strong to kill a zombie, but what you need to do first is learn to run. And run fast. So focus on sprinting, not on marathons. Zombies are notoriously slow so a good sprint will take you out of range in a hurry. And they don’t have the attention span to follow you when somebody slower wanders into their path.
- Keep moving.
A lot of people will tell you to stay close to home. That’s the worst Thing to do. Especially when you live in Florida, where cases of people eating other people’s faces off are not that rare. Don’t ignore the signs in your state. Your best bet is to bug out and find a place where zombies won’t follow.
- Get out of the city.
Not counting the fact that they’re dead, zombies are exactly like other predator animals. They go where the food is. And where’s the biggest concentration of food? Cities. So when you bug out, go far and go deep. And stay away from other people. Even if they’re not zombies yet, one of them always runs into their zombie-fied brother, mother, sister or lover and inevitably screws the whole survival Thing up.
Remember: you don’t have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun everyone else! So get in shape and get prepared because the Zombie Apocalypse is coming.
See you next week (I hope),
Bobby
