In honor of an upcoming special holiday, I’d like to share a joke with my favorite readers.

You ready?

OK!

Q: Where does the King keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies!

[rimshot]

Dad jokes are the best aren’t they? (The answer you’re looking for is “yes”).

Father’s Day is only a couple of weeks away, and just a heads up: Pops is totally set on neckties. Trust me. I know these Things.

While you probably already know there are multitudes of epic ways to show your love and appreciation for the guy who helped shape you into the awesome human specimen you are, I’d like to toss a few more Things into the ole idea bank that can help make his day even better.

• Help him learn Krav Maga: After learning the fighting techniques in this Krav Maga Personal Protection Course, your Dad can have even the biggest dudes crying “UNCLE!” in no time.

• Hold up his pants: With an awesome belt, of course. (Things might get awkward if you follow the guy around while hiking up his drawers for him, just saying.) The Comfort Click Belt’s micro-adjust ratcheting system means it will fit any day, all day, no matter what—no more stretched belts or punching extra holes to make one fit!

• Light up his world: The military-grade Atomic Beam Lantern is brighter than ordinary flashlights and is built to withstand extreme conditions. A perfect addition to the gear you’re bringing with you on your male-bonding camping trip!

• Let him gamble with his savings: This working Jumbo Slot Machine Bank has all the fun lights and sounds of real Vegas slots without the shame and regret over blowing your mortgage payment!

We have plenty of other Dad Things here, or you could always take a gander at a couple hundred of or newest Things here, all sure to make you forget ever considering that necktie in the first place!

And because I can’t resist….

Q: What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A: A Labracadabrador.

Happy Father’s Day!

See you next week,
Bobby