Things You Never Knew Existed
Things You Never Knew Existed.com is the place to shop for novelties, gag gifts and hilarious t-shirts. We also offer magic tricks, novelty collectibles and bizarre toys, books and videos. Recycle
Friday, November 24, 2017
I'm not in love with the mall. Not even on a regular day. But on Black Friday? For-GET it. Not going. No way. Not doing it. Don't care what's on sale. Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. Won't go. Can't make me! [Insert kicking and screaming fit here.]

Why should I run around like a maniac chasing silly sales when my trusty old (and I do mean old) laptop can deliver deals to my door? Let the rest of the family fight their way through the mall. I'm staying right here in my pajamas and slippers. (Maybe I'll get dressed today. Maybe I won't.That's nobody's business but mine.) If you are a Black Friday resister like me, I've got a few Things you're going to L.O.V.E.!

Everyone needs an Ugly Sweater to ring in the season. If you live where it's hot ALL the time (like me) a t-shirt might have to do. Either way, it's better if your "gay apparel" is sarcastic, funny, or dripping with attitude. This Santa sweater fills the bill, plus - super bonus - it farts! And everyThing is festive when you dress it up in a Santa Hat and lights. Even a grinning skull!

Now...get ready...here's THE best Outdoor Decorating Thing of the season: the Star Shower. The Thing I like most: it's ridiculously easy to use. You just plug in the projector, pick a holiday slide, and turn it on. Voila! Outdoor decorating is done. There lots of different slides, so you never get tired of your decorations even if (like me) you don't get around to taking them down, like, ever.

No Christmas is complete without jelly beans in your stocking, under the tree, or on the goodie table. (Preferably all three!) Thanks to the super geniuses at Jelly Belly, now you can get your favorite Krispy Crème donut flavors in a jelly bean! My favorite: Chocolate Iced with Sprinkles. They really do taste like Krispy Crème! How do they do that?


Finally, here's a Thing I could have used yesterday: the Click and Go Belt. It expands with your belly, which isn't an excuse to shove your face full of unlimited quantities of food (like me), but sure helps if you lose your cool (like me) and eat everyThing in sight (like me).

You don't have to fight the crowds, the traffic, rabid bargain hunters, or the weather. Just make some coffee, slip on your slippers, settle into your favorite chair and get clicking. With plenty of Things online, there's more than one way to conquer a Christmas list!

Happy Holidays!
Bobby
Posted by: Bobby | 8:00 AM | permalink
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