Things You Never Knew Existed.com is the place to shop for novelties, gag gifts and hilarious t-shirts. We also offer magic tricks, novelty collectibles and bizarre toys, books and videos.
April
is here, but you know what’s not? Her baby. I don’t know what’s worse: waiting
for this baby giraffe’s arrival, or the fact that it wasn’t revealed on April 1st
that the whole laboring-giraffe Thing was some beautifully elaborate April
Fools’ Joke. I really had my hopes up for that…
On
a more serious note (stop laughing), we’d like to remind everyone that today is
No Housework Day!
You’re
welcome.
That
being said, a little Spring Cleaning never hurt anyone (except for germs, but
that’s kinda the point), so when it’s time to get back to work, we invite you
to check out some of our handy household Things to ensure a more squeaky-clean
abode.
When was the last time you cleaned your baseboards? I did mine
last weekend. Before then? Well… that date is harder to pin down. Since no one
likes getting on their hands and knees for someThing as un-fun as cleaning, we
have the Baseboard Buddy®. Save your back and knees—just walk and
glide that grime away!
Did
you know cleaning the shower doesn’t have to be awful? The Turbo Scrub™ 360° comes
with 3 rotating scrub heads that spin away soap scum, mildew, and other gunk
that has no business existing anywhere. You can even use it on patio furniture,
tire rims, or the pool. Clean all the Things! (Within reason—your sister’s
ancient Shar-Pei should go to a groomer.)
Is
your closet overcrowded? If your wardrobe is the
clothes version of a clown car, you need the Wonder Hanger MAX™. These genius
hangers each hold up to 5 garments and “cascade” down to give you extra space.
They also help keep your work shirts from getting more wrinkles than an ancient
Shar-Pei.
Spring
Cleaning can wait until tomorrow. Today,
celebrate No Housework Day with a little stress-free procrastination.
Along with your new Spring Cleaning helpers, you’ll find plenty of
procrastination aids over at Things You Never Knew Existed, all of which are infinitely
more constructive than watching along with the rest of the planet as a mother
giraffe continues to not give birth, and occasionally screaming, “COULD YOU AT
LEAST MAKE AN EFFORT, APRIL, SO WE CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES ALREADY?!?!”
See
you next week,
Bobby
Posted by:
Bobby | 8:00 AM |
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