Things You Never Knew Existed
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Friday, April 28, 2017
A crude drawing of a pink-and-blue diabetic coma.
IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE
Unless you've been living under a rock, you're probably aware of how folks have been FREAKING OUT over this fluffy rainbow monstrosity in a cup that was available for a limited time from some coffee company that's pretty popular. It resembled a glittery, cotton-candy-colored, sugar-loaded-unicorn-poop nightmare, and I, for one, am grateful this promotion has ended.

...and not at all bummed that I missed my shot because I failed to properly prioritize and get one in time.

Nope.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I've included a hastily scribbled illustration that should clear things up.

So, since there were no mythical creatures, cosmic-sugar-crystals, or coffee peddlers on the verge of strangling the next customer who ordered this cup of sweet, whipped terror on Monday morning, I had my caffeine dealer expertly fill my Darth Vader travel tumbler with piping-hot black coffee[1] and I drank it down in three scalding swallows[2] like God intended, dammit!

If you, too, are the kind of Things fan who likes to throw back their coffee like a Norse god on the dawn of victory[3], we have plenty of java vessels with which to toast your inevitable triumph[4].

We've got mugs that morph, shaped mugs, scary mugs, and mugs that destroy planets[5].

No sparkly unicorn mugs, though. Sorry.



Cheers!

Bobby

1. With steamed milk, vanilla syrup, and a bunch of caramel, and shut up, it's delicious.
2. That's code for "a series of gentle sips because I was driving and wanted to savor my caramel life force on a Monday morning, give a guy a break, sheesh."
3. Or like an occasionally polite mortal named Bobby.
4. Or soothe your devastated soul because deadline is approaching and you're not allowed to drink rum on the job.
5. Not really, but we have at least one that certainly looks like it can.
Star Wars Darth Vader Travel Tumbler I Heart Sex Heat Reactive Mug We Don't Call 911 Gun Mug Skull Mug STAR WARS Oval Mug
Posted by: Bobby | 8:00 AM | permalink
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